UK dating

Internet Dating For Beginners – from someone who has tried it

Internet Dating For BeginnersIt might sound cheesy, but it took me a while to realise that you’ll only enjoy dating when you’re being yourself.  With that thought in mind I wrote this post on internet dating for beginners in order to pass on what I have learned.

The end of my last relationship left me feeling like I’d forgotten who I was. I couldn’t remember what made me laugh, and what I’d laughed at because my partner found them amusing. I couldn’t distinguish between music that lifted me because it spoke to me, or music that lifted me because it was attached to a memory of them.

Emotionally, and sexually, I was in neutral. Our tastes had intertwined for so long that it seemed impossible to me that we had really grown apart.

So, like a true new single, when I felt like I wanted a little company once again, I did everything I could to find a date without doing anything too risky.

I agreed to dinner with a friend’s friend. But at the back of my mind, for the whole evening, our mutual friends were peering eagerly over my shoulder, wondering if their cupid-efforts had borne fruit. Sleeping together almost seemed like an engagement party, with everyone toasting us.

I went on nights out with a group. I’d sink that extra drink, summon up the liquid courage, and was delighted that I managed to get a couple of numbers. But it was only for a night, and we were very different people the next morning.

I even took a chance and asked out a colleague I’d had my eye on. Though they said yes, it was quickly obvious that I was just being the office-me. It didn’t work out, and I was lucky I didn’t have to relive a daily rejection at work.

So I started internet dating. I paid my first fees, and promised myself it would only be for a month. Pretty soon I’d been contacted by some interesting and genuine sounding people. They seemed attractive, and my first dates were booked.

Sure, some of the evenings were a little unexpected (and maybe one of them seemed to drag on forever) but for the first time I was able to explore who I really was without feeling inhibited. It was refreshing. I renewed my sub the next month and the next.

For the first time in years I felt like I was able to explore what it meant to be me, unfettered by other people’s expectations. And one frosty winters morning, two years ago, I clicked on my current partner.

Maybe you’re not looking for romance yet, maybe you just want to let yourself out. A site like lets you do exactly that. Try it.  Register for free and get the hang of it.  Upgrade for a month or two and start experimenting.